Can't Say
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: In the blistering heat of summer, Laxus struggles with words that don't feel quite right, but keep tumbling right out. Mira mostly just struggles with the fact he hit her over the head with a bowl. - One-shot.


Laxus yawned as he went through the house in the darkness, the heat of the day still not fleeing without the sun to provide it and the affect being felt by the man as he stepped out from the hallway and into the bathroom, the slightly cooler tile floor greeting the soles of his feet with kindness. He stood there for a moment, enjoying it partly, but mostly just taking in the sight of who'd arrived in the bathroom first, smiling a bit at the sight of his girlfriend sinking into the water.

"It better be ice cold, demon."

She smiled at him, brightly, and her hair was down in that way that he liked. Eyes alight, she replied, "As your heart."

His grin wasn't nearly as light, but Mira was always attracted to the menacing side of the slayer. As he tugged his shirt over his head, he said, "Better be. Wanna freeze my nuts off."

"Don't be gross."

The water wasn't frozen though, of course, as he joined her in it. Slightly hotter than lukewarm, even. Still, the feeling of Mira's flesh against his was enough, honestly. Short of a boiling hot spring, he'd jump into any body of water with her. Who wouldn't though? No one, if he had anything to do with it. Other than him.

"It's too hot, demon," he told her simply. "The weather. And not the good kind. The humid kind."

"Uh, I think the humid kind sucks, actually, thanks."

"No. Humidity rises when a storm comes." Both of his hands had been resting on the lips of the tub, but one came up to ram his fist into his chest then, right over his guild marking. "I need thunderstorms, you know."

"Of course, Raijin," she agreed. "But-"

"But," he grumbled, never one to like that word.

"-no one else needs lightning, so no one else likes it. Me included."

"You like me all powered up though, don't ya?"

Mirajane only hummed some, tilting her head back so that she could look at him upside down. His snarl didn't look as much as a smile as she'd hoped, that way. "I like you when you go into that super dragon mode thingy."

"My Dragon Force?"

"That's the one."

"You've never seen me in that!"

"I've heard the rumors."

"Rumors, huh?"

"I got a thing for fangs."

"You're so fucking weird," the slayer complained though the way his face changed was undeniable. She always liked it when she bragged on him. And, as she giggled, looking forwards once more, he lost some of his put on hostility. "And they're just my own canines."

"And then the scales, right? Don't you get scales? And...bulkier?"

"Don't say bulkier."

"Why not?"

"I don't like it."

"But I'm the one that's weird," she muttered.

He agreed.

She was.

"You know," she was going right along them as he only relaxed into the water for a bit. She was very busy with scrubbing and cleaning, but he wanted to stay in there for a bit. Pass pruning even. Anything to avoid the unimaginable heat. He hated it. "I have the afternoon _and_ evening off tomorrow."

"Oh, yeah? How'd you swing that?" Then, with a bit of a frown, he asked, "Why'd you swing that?"

"Jobs have been a bit slow and Lucy is behind on rent again, so I'm gonna let her cover for me."

"Alone?"

"Lisanna will be there."

"So you're going to entrust Lisanna and Lucy, together, to hold down the bar? With no screw ups or missteps?"

For a moment, Mira sat still, right in the middle of rubbing the soapy washcloth along one of her arms. Then, just like that, she began doing it once more.

"I'm a very trusting person, Lax," she said quite simply and, for some reason, it made him laugh softly.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

'What am I then? That I don't feel the same way?"

"Pessimistic." Mirajane glanced over her shoulder at him that time. "Maybe Lisanna and Lucy will be such a great team together, up at the hall, that I get replaced by them. Ever think of that?"

"No, demon, I'll cave to that. I never did think of that."

"Well, maybe you should have some more faith sometimes then."

"Maybe."

"I have to go in, anyways, tomorrow morning," Mirajane sighed a bit, just from the thought. "No one can open as well as me. And I hate the idea of taking a full day off when I don't need it."

"Don't need it, huh?"

"I don't."

"Demon, you work harder than me," he griped. "And I'm constantly fighting bandits and monsters."

"How do I work harder than you then?"

"You literally clean that hall, top to bottom, every evening before you leave and then go back over everything before you open up. That's a janitor's job right there. But then the second the place is open, you have to file jobs 'cause the old geezer is too much of an old geezer now to do so. His job. Which you do more of because you've started handling the budget and the books. The real books too, downstairs. Librarian. Then people order food and who cooks? You cook. Chef. Then there's the only job that you're actually hired to do and that's serve the bar. Barmaid. I just beat people to a pulp for a living. I'd never be able to do what you do."

"You're sweet when you lie," she offered up. "Also, I like the idea that you think the slop I serve down at the hall qualifies me to be a chef."

"Slop? I get my three squares from there sometimes, woman. Better not be slop."

"The concept that you do nothing, but fight people is pretty silly too." She shook her head some. "You undersell yourself."

And that floored the slayer who only frowned some as he said, "I have honestly never had anyone tell me that before. Ever."

"It's true." Then Mirajane paused before adding, "Well, in this case. You definitely like to brag on yourself and hear others do it-"

"I didn't fucking say that, demon. Just that I'm not underselling shit. I perfectly sell it."

"-but sometimes you like to act like I'm, like, stronger than you. Smarter than you. You like to brag on me too."

"It's bragging if it's the truth."

"It's patronizing," she told him bluntly and Laxus, having not been prepared for such a conversation, could only blink. "Honestly, dragon, it is."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not some little kid that you can fall over when he wags his fist in your direction and convince he had magical powers." Mirajane gave him a look then, over her shoulder. "Sometimes you treat me like I'm stupid. Like I'll believe whatever you tell me. I won't. And I'm not."

He wasn't sure what to say to that and, for a few moments, he didn't say anything at all. Then, softly, he told her, "I don't think I do that."

"You do though," she insisted. Shifting in the water some, she recognized her tone as becoming rather harsh and wanted to soften it a bit. "You always do. You build me up because-"

"You are strong."

"I am," she agreed. "But I'm not the strongest, most competent mage to ever walk around. But you act like I do because-"

"Well, because I love you," Laxus told her with a bit of a frown. "Not because I think you're stupid or something. Because you're not stupid. At all. But you are strong. Maybe not as strong as I say, but-"

"What'd you just say?"

"What I should have said was that you're not a good listener."

"You love me, dragon?"

He was cold then, finally, Laxus was. Icy. And the temperature of the water had nothing to do with it.

"What?" he asked with a frown. "Mira?"

"You said that you love me."

"I did not. Listening, I swear."

"Then you don't? Laxus?"

It was his turn to shift a bit, more from discomfort than anything else. Gruffly, he said, "What's it to you anyways, Mira? If I do or if I don't? What's in it for me?"

"There's nothing in it for you. And I don't plan on doing anything with the information." Then, because she couldn't help herself, she added, "Other than hug you and kiss you and tell you-"

And he didn't stop her, didn't start to speak to cut her off. No, Mirajane simply stopped so suddenly herself that it felt as if she'd been cutoff.

Laxus, now feeling the upper hand becoming his, grinned a bit before saying, "You'd tell me what, Mirajane?"

Her silence felt heavier than his, somehow, as Mirajane dropped the washcloth and actually stood up. While he was annoyed by the path the conversation was taking, Laxus did not mind the view. Mirajane was only turning around though, to straddle him now which, actually, was what was missing from the bath the entire time.

Now staring one another in the eyes, Laxus watched Mira's blues with interest as he waited for his answer. He was just beginning to fear he wouldn't get one when she decided to speak.

"That I love you," she told him honestly, her eyes locked with his. "If you told me that you loved me, I would tell you that I loved you."

His discomfort had been relieved, momentarily, when she sat in his lap, but now it was back. Even when Mirajane took to washing his chest for him it didn't disperse.

"But what if I don't tell you?" he asked. "Then do you tell me that?"

"No."

"But do you?"

"I just answered-"

"No, I'm asking," he clarified, "if you still love me. Even if I don't tell you and you then don't tell me."

"What?"

"Do you love me, Mira?"

She leaned with the washcloth against his chest then, as if considering. Still, she didn't answer the question as, instead, she posed one of her own.

"Do you love me?"

He could feel the suds sliding down his chest as they both waited, hardly breathing, for an answer that he didn't even know how to begin to give. Laxus had been put in such a situation before, of course, as he'd been asked by a few different girlfriends if he felt this way about them. He handled those with ease. The difference was, however, that he didn't love any of those women. And knew that. For sure.

But Mirajane…

"Would that change something?" he asked her then. "If I didn't? What you really feel, I mean, not what you say."

That time Mirajane didn't need to think as she only shook her head a bit. "No, Laxus. It wouldn't."

His hand came out of the water then and paused for a moment, water dropping heavily from it. Moving to rest it where her torso met the water, he stroked the smooth skin there with her rough thumb. Staring down at the water instead of her, he said, "It's just not me."

"That's okay."

Shaking his own head then, his eyes raised a bit as he told her, "It's not."

"Hmmm?"

"It's not okay." Laxus sighed some and his eyes kept going higher, up to the ceiling then as he hung his head back, resting it on the lip of the tub. "It's fucking not."

"Laxus-"

"I'm just… Can we just go back to talking about something else? Please? Anything else?"

Nodding, her grin returned as she moved to rinse off his chest then. Dunking the washcloth in the water, she rung it out over his soapy chest with a bit of a giggle.

"Let's talk about what we'll do," she offered up then, "when I get off tomorrow. Will you take me to lunch? Or to dinner? Both?"

"Wherever you want, demon." His eyes slipped shut then. "I'll take you wherever you want."

Laxus didn't awake the next morning when she left for work like he typically did for training. Rather, he waved her off when she offered to make him a quick breakfast and only muttered into his pillow that he was too tired. Mirajane giggled and reminded him though to meet her at the guildhall that afternoon for their lunch date.

"Wherever I want, right?"

"Mmmm."

Laze was the only desire of the morning though and it wasn't until eleven that Laxus finally forced himself out of bed. Even then, he skulked off to the bathroom for a quick shower with little hope of the water waking him up any.

His hopes were founded, it seemed. Even the coffee he gulped down did nothing. He felt like he was in a funk for some reason. The last thing he wanted to do then was go take Mira out to lunch. But he'd promised, after all.

She was all giddy about it too, when he arrived. Him? Not so much. But still, this was hardly a concern to Mirajane as the slayer was prone to such moods when they were around others. He liked to act disinterested and pissed off when up at the guild. It was just a part of his natural charisma.

That's what she called it.

Charisma.

It was almost laughable.

Still, Mirajane wasn't oblivious to him and his moods. It was as they were seated alone on the patio of a restaurant in the heart of Magnolia that Mirajane brought it up.

"Is something wrong? Lax?" She made a bit of a face at him from across the table. "Something wrong?"

"It's just… It's still hot, is all."

"Awh. Maybe you should take a long job, huh? Somewhere cool."

"Maybe."

"I think that there was a job posted for, oh gosh, where was it? I can't quite remember, but it was somewhere colder. It would take you a bit to travel to get there though and I don't really know if it's worth the-"

"Mira."

His tone was clearly more than just a distaste for heat. Frowning some, she looked him in the eyes once more as she asked, "What?"

"I..." Uncomfortable, he shifted some and looked passed the woman, towards the building across the street where the sun's rays glinted in the reflection on its windows. "I've been weird, I know, since last night."

"You have?" Mira, apparently, missed this. "What do you mean?"

Instead of explaining (it was a bit difficult to, anyways), the man only said, "I just really like our relationship. No matter what I say now or before or after this, I just really, really like it."

Mirajane blinked a few times as she tilted her head to the side. Then, straightening it, she beamed brightly at the man before saying, "Well, of course you do, dragon. Who siad you didn't?"

"No one, I guess."

"Now back to this job that you're going to go on-"

"It's ain't too hot," Laxus interrupted again. "Here. I think I'll stay. For a bit. I'll go when I'm ready."

"If it's all the same to you," Mira began in that certain tone of voice that the slayer had learned to dread, "I actually had an invitation to a party that I didn't want to go alone to, but I thought you'd be gone before-"

"When is it? Demon?"

She bounced a bit, in her chair, and he'd hate it, whatever sort of party it was, but he was going.

What choice did he have?

Mirajane didn't want to go out to dinner again that night, rather opting to stay in. She claimed she'd make him something and that sounded fine to the slayer who only stretched out on the couch as she got to that. It had been a completely lazy day and he planned to take a jog, after dinner, to at least get his body somewhat active. Perhaps more, if Mira didn't' gripe too much about being alone.

As he was getting ready to voice this to her though, she called out to him from the kitchen.

"Laxus, do you think that you could come here? I can't reach something."

"What's that, demon?" He groaned a bit as he tumbled off the couch and onto his feet, heading that way.

It was a bowl, placed way high up in his cabinets and he had to stretch a bit, to reach it. He wasn't expecting it to be so slippery though and, as it fell out of his hand, Mira had the misfortune of being right underneath him.

"Ow," she complained a bit as it bonked her in the head before tumbling the rest of the way down to the floor where it shattered. "Laxus-"

"That fucking sucks," he grumbled, glaring down at the sight of all the broken shards going every which way. And don't move. I don't want you to cut your foot."

"I need ice," Mira complained as, again, she seemed to neglect listening to him as she moved to head towards the icebox. "I- Ow!"

"I told you that you'd cut your foot."

Now that he'd thoroughly abused his girlfriend for the day, it felt like, Laxus moved to lift her into his arms and, with little care for the poor pads of his own feet, walked around the kitchen to go set her and her bleeding appendage down in a kitchen chair. Dragging another over, he propped the wounded foot up.

"I'll get you ice," he told her as she rubbed at her head and looked downright miserable. "But you're fuckin' Satan, ain't you? Kind of a weak showing, I think."

"Laxus-"

"Just give me a sec."

He was more careful now, stepping around shards here or there as he made Mirajane a homemade ice pack. She gave him something of a muttered thanks for this, but just as quickly he was heading back out of the room and to the bathroom where he found some med supplies.

"I think I just need a bandaid."

"Who knows what the fuck was on that bowl. I don't, for sure. Never even seen it before."

"How have you not seen a bowl in your own cabinet, Lax?"

"Don't ask me questions, woman." He was down on his knees then, before her, carefully pouring some solution over the wound. "Not when I'm workin'. Not ever, actually."

Mirajane, still holding the baggie of ice to her head, hummed slightly and wiggled her toes at the man though he didn't seem to care as he was too busy then pressing some gauze against the cut. Still, she said to him then, "You ever think about being a doctor, dragon?"

"Shuddup," he griped without even glancing up at her. "Demon. I wouldn't do this anyone, for nobody else. Just you."

"You'd do it for anyone at the guildhall."

"Would not. Let them die of sepsis. Fuck if I care."

"That's not nice, Lax."

"I'm not nice."

"Maybe I should just hire you then," she decided with a slight nod of her head. "To be my own personal medic."

"The meager earnings you get down at the hall? You can't afford me."

"I thought you said I work too much?" she said with a frown. "So what then? I should work more? To make more?"

"No," he told her slowly as, finished with wrapping her foot, he stared around it and up into her eyes. "You are poorly compensated for what you do. That's what I alluded to, before."

"The guild couldn't afford to pay me more."

"And why's that? The old man can't balance his budgets, huh?"

"I balance the budget and I do quite nicely, thanks."

"Instead of cooking for those plebeians up at the hall, try cooking the books instead."

"You're one of the plebeians, Mr. Three Square."

He was had then, by the demon. But, honestly, he wouldn't have it any other way. Still, he only leaned his head forwards then, to blow on her foot, succeeding in getting the woman to shriek and jerk away from him to the enjoyment of the slayer that only got to his own feet.

"I gotta sweep this shit up now, yeah?" he grumbled as he straightened. "Before you cut up some more of those delicate little things."

"Your obsession with my feet is starting to make me a tad uncomfortable."

"You help a woman out once with an injury and she thinks her feet are in high demand." The slayer tsked as he came to stand before her though, reaching to shoo her hand away from where she was pressing the ice pack so he could take a look for himself. Whistling a bit, the slayer remarked, "You got a bit of a bump her, yeah."

"I'm going to tell people that you dropped it on my head on purpose."

"And build my status even more?" Snorting, Laxus said, "Be my guest."

"You don't mean that."

He didn't. And he would hate for someone to honestly believe he could ever hurt Mirajane.

She watched him with interest though as, after leaning down to press a kiss to the crown of her head, he moved to go get the dustpan and actually sweep the kitchen. Considering the man lived alone most of his life, she had to imagine that he did this quite frequently, but never once had she actually seem him clean. No, honestly, she had never seen him clean a single thing in all of her time at his apartment.

When he was finished and thoroughly convinced that there was no longer a threat remaining, he only moved to set the broom and dustpan back in their place before announcing, "You gonna tell me how to finish dinner? Or what?'

"What?" was the option Mira chose as her brows furrowed and she started to get up. "Laxus-"

"You're hurt," he said though this was more as a command. He was rushing over to force her to stay in her seat. "Your foot should stay elevated."

"This is literally the tiniest cut I might have ever gotten in my entire life. I was more cut up from the last time we sparred."

"That's a good cut. This is a bad one."

Hmm.

Still, Mira sat there and watched as he went over to the cabinet to get a similar sized bowl to the one he'd dropped he asked what exactly he was supposed to do with it.

"Laxus, you seriously don't have to-"

"Why don't you just let me do things for you?" he griped then with a frown. "When I want to?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I can't brag on you without you bitching me out-"

"Excuse me?"

"-I can't say things to you without you ridiculing me-"

"I did not-"

"-then I try and bandage your foot and what do you say?"

"Just that it's unnecessary."

"You do stuff for me all the time that's unnecessary and I don't say anything."

"Like what?"

He resisted the urge to gap at her. "You pack me lunches when I go out to train."

"That is necessary."

"Mira, I'm hardly gone four hours!"

"And you might get hungry in that time."

"You put blankets over me when I sleep on the couch-"

"Also necessary. It gets drafty in here, sometimes, and-"

"You go out of your way to buy me those cigars I like even though I tell you that I can just have Bickslow pick them up when he's out-"

"That's all because I care about you, Laxus."

"Yeah. I know." He set the bowl down on the table then, glaring heavily over at her. "I care about you too."

They both stared at one another for a moment before, slowly, Mirajane took to looking off. Softly, she tried, "Then-"

"You have to let me do the things that I need to do to show you that. The same way I let you. You think that I like when you check up on me at the bar? When the Thunder Legion isn't around? Or that I like how you've just taken it upon yourself to start doing my laundry?"

"Well, I do feel like you like the last one, yeah."

"I let you do all that, Mira, because you want to. Because you feel the need to. Because you...you love me." That time, the word was deliberate though it did take a lot for his tongue to form the word. "You don't have to constantly undercut all the things that I do for you. I want to do them. I like doing them. And even if I didn't, I want to do them. Because I love you, Mira. Shit, why is it so hard for you to understand that?"

For a long few moments, the pair only stared across the table at one another. Then, slowly, Mirajane let out a long breath before speaking.

"I appreciate it, Laxus, when you do things for me," she assured him. "You just...sometimes they don't feel genuine."

"Why?"

"Because you're not like that. You're not someone who does a lot for other people. So sometimes it throws me off, when you do those things. It's not that I don't like it or appreciate it, I just-"

"I do them for you," he told her simply then. "I'm genuine with you. When haven't I been?"

"Well, it's taken you a whole day to admit that you told me you loved me last night, so there's that."

For a moment, he was silent as they considered one another again before, with a sigh, he shook his head some.

"I don't think you're stronger than the world, Mira. I don't. I do think that you work too hard. Longer than me, actually, would be a better word for what I said. And I don't… I don't say that. To people. Not even Gramps. It just happened. I really don't want to talk about it for the rest of forever. So there. I do. I love you. I'm not going to tell you again because I don't need to. Alright?"

It was Mira's turn to consider things and, in a much shorter beat, she took to nodding slightly.

"Yeah, Lax," she whispered. "I know."

"Now, are you gonna tell me how to make dinner? Or are you gonna let me fucking starve?"

Though the demon walked him though the whole thing, it would be a lie to pretend as if ti was anywhere near the quality of one of her meals. Still, it was nice. Decent. After, Laxus decided not to mention his desire to train that evening to Mirajane, rather opting to spend some more time with the demon.

She, eventually, rolled around to that damn party.

"I want a new dress for it."

"Can't you just transform into a new one and be done with it?"

"Don't be silly, Laxus."

He tried hard not to be.

Really, really hard.

As they cuddled up together in bed, listening to the music lacrima, Laxus listened as she also detailed just who was attending this party and why it was so important for them to go together.

"You know, all the things we go to together," he complained, "are always your shit. Never mine."

"Oh, dragon, that's because no one invites you to things."

"Hey-"

"I would love to hang out with you and the Thunder Legion though, if they ever get together and plan a party of just the four of you."

"Sometimes, woman, I don't think you're sweet at all," Laxus accused as she only grinned at him. "Or daft. Dense. None of it. I think you're just as rough as me. You just hide it better."

"Well," she said slowly, as if considering things. "I am great at transformation magic, you know."

"Sure," he agreed as, though it was still unbearably hot, it felt, he only tugged the woman closer to him, "but you can't transform into new clothes for yourself, right? Your boyfriend needs to purchase that."

"If he'd be so kind."

"You make such meager earnings, after all."

With a grin, the woman patted at his chest some before softly asking, "Lax?"

"What, demon?"

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me," he complained. "That dinner was shit compared to yours. You kept telling me to season the fish more, but-"

"No, just… Just in general. You do a lot."

And he didn't want to talk about it anymore. He'd made that clear to her before, in the kitchen. Still, after staring at her for a few moments, the slayer only nodded his head.

"Damn right I do."

And there was the Laxus she knew so well. Hiding a laugh in chest, she missed the open grin that graced his lips. But that was fine. For the better even. It saved him from having to hide it instead.

"You gonna stalk me up at the bar tomorrow? Dragon?"

"Fuck I look like?" he responded with a snort. "I have things to do, woman. I'm going training. Serious training."

"Is that right? And you can't even stop by the guild for a sack lunch?"

"Hear that place serves slop."

"Not for Raijin," she assured him. "Only the plebeians."

That devious grin he didn't even attempt to downplay. Word it with pride.

"As," he told her as she returned it, "it should be."

* * *

 **Was it as obvious that I had no idea where this was going for the majority of this? Or just to me?**


End file.
